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You will never know how your ex narcissist took your leaving. Pause for a moment of silence and now let it go! Literally, just let it ALL go! A narcissist will NEVER, EVER see themselves for what they are because they lack the ability to do so. The narcissist doesn't see themselves as the “parasite” here but rather we are the ones crawling away on our slimy bellies after having taken all their love and goodness for granted and oh they love the pity party. They have multiple dolls willing to agree and feed the notion that you and I are stupid for leaving. Oh No, a narcissist has multiple other dolls that are just waiting to play with them and build back up their over inflated egos. I’ve said it before, you likely weren’t the only doll on his shelf! I doubt me or you either one were missed for long. It shows the best of you when you can still hope something will change the narcissist but sadly honey, it won’t be your leaving. I’m sure you feel me on that one so let it be enough for you! It’s normal to want to feel your absence makes a difference. It’s been enough for me since the day I walked out. I realized what a disgusting, horrible, vile, abusive, cheating, lying, disrespectful, selfish, hypocritical, ignorant, stupid piece of crap he was and that was enough for me. I realized me and my kids deserved better. We left in 2017 and to this day I don’t know what he realized and I don’t care. I don’t know if he realized that I realized our lives would be 10000 times better without him.
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I don’t know if he realized I realized I had to leave to save my life. I don’t know if he realized that I realized I was strong enough to leave. I don’t know what he thought when he passed me on the highway for a few weeks after we left and before I could find a new route to work. I don’t know what my ex thought when he walked into that empty house after me and the kids left.
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We would love to know that they beat themselves up over their devastating treatment of us but…. We would love to know that they sat and cried in their beer over us leaving. Girl, I feel ya on that one! Wouldn’t all us survivors like to get revenge? We would all love to know the narcissist had a sudden epiphany upon our departure that caused them great distress. You get stuck in wanting to know you hurt the narcissist as much as they hurt you. I don’t know because I don’t care and frankly neither should you! This is where a lot of people kinda derail on their road to healing. I swear I’m not being a smart ass with this next part but if you’ve read anything I’ve wrote y’all know I just say it so keep reading…. But to be totally transparent here, I don’t know! Your leaving is only met with anger I’m sure and the narcissist is likely smearing your name from here to kingdom come. The narcissist only sees your leaving as an insult to them. I’m proud of YOU for understanding you deserve better, for taking those hard steps on the road to recovery, for understanding the narcissist to be nothing but an alien “parasite” capable of destroying everything they touch. The parasite didn’t see your worth while they had you so they certainly are not going to go out of their way to try and understand or value you now. (59 People Likes) How does a narcissist feel when his/her prior victim understands their self worth and realizes the narcissist absolutely has no value and is nothing more than a parasite?